I was in a meeting, two sentences in, and someone jumped in to finish my point. Wrong. They finished it wrong. I smiled and said "actually" and then finished it myself, which is a level of composure that takes practice and also knowing what you're dealing with.

Most people just talk louder or give up, neither of which works. Being interrupted is one of those things that feels small in the moment but will have you rehearsing a comeback in the shower for three days. You'll be in there with shampoo in your hair going "and ANOTHER thing" to absolutely no one.

The wild part is that most people who interrupt you aren't doing it to be rude. They're not sitting across from you thinking about how little they care about what you have to say. Their brain literally got ahead of them and their mouth followed without asking permission.

It happens constantly, in meetings, at dinner, mid-sentence on the phone, and most people have no idea what to do about it except get quietly furious. The FBI, however, has thoughts.

Your Brain Behind It

There are two reasons people cut you off.

The FIRST is that their brain thinks it already knows where your story is going - it's called "anticipatory responding" - so their mouth opens before the rest of them catches up. Their brain heard enough to think it got the point, fired off the neurons, and decided it was time to talk. They're not necessarily being dismissive, they're genuinely convinced they already know the ending. They usually don't, but that's a separate conversation. I call it being the person who finishes everyone's sentences wrong and feels great about it.

The SECOND reason is they get excited and genuinely cannot wait. They have something to say and the excitement of having something to say is stronger than the impulse to wait their turn. Cute once. It's a personality trait by the fourth time. Either way the result is the same: you're standing there mid-sentence wondering what just happened and whether it would be weird to just start over.

Most people will spend their entire lives not knowing what to do about this. You're about to find out.

Try This ShiFt

FBI agents are actually trained to do to stop interruptions, and they are so simple it will make you a little mad that no one told you sooner.

The FIRST is called the Command Pause. Instead of launching into what you want to say, you open with something that signals importance - something like "okay listen to this" or "check this out" - and then you stop talking for a second on purpose. Not because you forgot what you were going to say, but because that pause is doing something. It tells the other person's brain that something worth hearing is coming, so it settles down and waits instead of jumping ahead. You're essentially giving their neurons a heads up before you start. It sounds small and it works embarrassingly well.

The SECOND is called the Power Palm. If someone interrupts you anyway - because sometimes they will, because people are people - you raise your hand with your palm facing out, not aggressive, not dramatic, just calm and open, and you say "hey, can I finish my thought?" The open palm is a subconscious signal for trust. It tells the other person's brain you're not coming for them, you only want your turn, and you're asking for it like a reasonable adult who has been trained by the FBI apparently. It works 90% of the time, which tracks because you're not fighting the person, you're working with how their brain actually operates instead of against it.

Neither of these is about shutting someone down or winning something (some of you probably need to read that sentence again). They're about slowing the moment down just enough to actually be heard. The pause creates space before you even start. The palm recovers it if you lose it. Together they say: I'm not done yet, and I know exactly what to do about that. That's not a power move. That's knowing how to hold your ground without making it weird, which is honestly a skill more people need.

Your Turn

Most people will go their whole lives getting talked over and not knowing why. Forward this email to ONE person - literally, all I'm asking is ONE. I'm trying to grow this thing and I need your help.

Speaker & Author
Communication Expert

I know things.
Follow me. ↓

​​​​