I Interrupt My Husband at Every Drive-Thru (ShiFt Happens)

Published 21 days ago • 3 min read

If you've ever been in the car with my family at a drive-thru, I owe you an apology - because I'm that person.

My husband starts ordering: "Can I get a Number 3..."

Before he even finishes the sentence, I'm already leaning over from the passenger seat and say, "No."

He gives me the look. The one that says please stop doing this in public. The kids are in the back cracking up because they've watched this exact scene a hundred times. Yes, even on them.

"Mom. Seriously?"

Yes. Seriously.

Because you CAN get a Number 3. Nobody's stopping you. It's on the menu and there's even a picture of it.

What you mean is "I'd like a Number 3." Or "I'll have a Number 3."

Am I insufferable about this? Yes. Do I care? No.

A few years ago I did my usual hijacking, except this time it was at a sit-down restaurant with an actual waiter and actual witnesses, and it was one of my kids I interrupted. I braced myself for the look that says ma'am, let the kid order her own lunch.

Instead he smiled and said, "Finally, someone is teaching good communication."

I have thought about that sentence more than I've thought about most of my life decisions. Not because of the grammar police stuff but because of what it exposed.

Why this Matters

Once I started noticing it, I couldn't stop.

"Can I ask you a question?"
"Can I be honest with you?"
"Can I tell you something?"
"I was just wondering if maybe possibly..."

It's not that these phrases are wrong. It's that we don't typically say them to strangers. You don't ask the mail carrier permission to speak to them - you ask the people closest to you. The ones who already said yes to loving you a long time ago.

We hedge the hardest with the people who need it the least. The husband who's been listening to us for twenty years. The kid who isn't going anywhere. The ones who already proved they're safe, and somehow that's exactly who we tiptoe around.

If you're asking permission from someone who already gave it, you're not being polite. You're making yourself easy to ignore.

Try this ShiFt

Here's the one to try this week and it has nothing to do with word choice.

Say the thing. Then stop talking.

Most of us don't just soften what we say, we keep talking after we say it. We fill the silence right after the sentence lands, because silence feels like the other person judging us.

Watch what this looks like...

You say, "I need you home by six." Then, because the silence feels unbearable, you immediately add, "but no big deal if not, whatever works." You just took back what you said in the same breath you said it.

Or you say, "I can't make it Saturday." Then you keep going. "I feel really bad, we can totally reschedule, it's fine either way." Three sentences undoing the one that mattered.

The first sentence was already complete. Everything after it was you managing their reaction before they'd even had one.

Try holding for three seconds after you say something direct. Count it in your head if you have to.

If they want more information, they'll ask. Wait for it - even in silence. It's okay. Nothing bad is going to happen.

The silence isn't rude. It's unfamiliar to you.

Your Turn

What's a phrase people say all the time that makes you think, "why do we say it like that?"

Hit reply. I'm building a list and I need your weird ones.

If you already know the sentence you need to say, but you keep dressing it up in twelve extra words first, that's exactly what Dr. Renea Ai is for. Tell it what's happening. It hands you back the sentence, no warm-up lap required. Link below.